I do this. Like a woman possessed I clean before the cleaner gets to my place.
Every couple of weeks I hire the skills of someone to clean up after our mess. I know. I know this is a first world problem. I am guilty of not being able to keep a 2×2 apartment clean. Shame on me!
The interesting part of this is what happens BEFORE the cleaner arrives at my door. That would be me, running around like a headless chicken picking things up, putting things away, hiding things that I don’t have time to fold or put away! It’s like the last minute cramming for a test, like the last good deed you will get to do before judgment day. The crazy inside me is saying ‘I don’t want to be judged by the person who is coming to clean up my mess’. I can just imagine her as she enters the house – takes one look at the state of the asylum, takes a look at me – head to toe, sniggers and chuckles out ‘What a pathetic excuse for a human you are’. It’s gone to a bit of a stage where before I book the cleaner, I look at my diary to see if I have time before hand to ensure I clean for the cleaner…*cue the crazy music*.
The tricky part is finding the perfect balance. The place can’t be too clean, because then what on earth is she going to do for 3 hours?? – Plus I need to know that I am getting my monies worth and that she’s not getting a free ride. The place can’t be too messy, because – well as described above, I cannot be judged. There has to be the perfect balance of messy and clean – which I like to call the ‘Goldilocks zone’ of cleanliness. It must be the perfect balance between clean and dirty. This is my objective, its the zone I must reach before she arrives at my door.
Of course when she gets in I look all calm without letting her know the state I was in the last half hour. I casually let her into my perfectly fashionably messy apartment – she must be in awe I think to myself.
When I come home in the evenings, the house is glistening. The kitchen smells great, the bathroom is spotless, items I threw behind the couch or hid somewhere have been found and are in their proper place. I even find I things that I thought were missing back where they belong.
Does anyone else out there do this? Or is it just me?